Swells

I never actually knew Stephen Wells, but back in 1984 (Coal Not Dole) our paths crossed and we were aware of each other's work, and for a short period we lived in the same road in North London.

He died on Tuesday.

The Guardian remembers him.

A proclaimer of the old school.

For Your Information...

For me, the true King of Pop was The Corona Man, even though we couldn't afford his fizzy fare, and could only watch with envy as his effervesence-laden chariot parked outside of the Eeles' house at No.65. And where were THEY getting the money from? (First to get colour TV too, and he only worked at the post office! Makes you think!)

Corona Limeade was formative in my book.

Hoorah For The Prince Of Wales!

As a subject of the Queen, and subsidizer of the Royal Family's opulent excesses, I was delighted to read that the recession had not curbed Prince Charles' spending. No Sir! When he's not fucking up legitimate plans for new architecture, he's ripping the public off for £Three Million a year.

And he's REDUCED his tax bill.

Well done that man! I doff my cap and bow in supplication.

Feel free to spit on me sir!

You Bet!

Oh yeh, he lied all over her!

Dirty, dirty aide!

Thatcher "Still Undead"

It is with horror that we read that fascist sympathiser and former Premier witch Margaret Thatcher has broken her arm.

Apparently she is unable to salute like she used to back at the Nurenbürg Rallies.

Anyway, is with horror that we find that the hospital intend to insert a titanium pin into her.

Do these FOOLS know NOTHING!

It has to be a SILVER BULLET for God's Sake!

Duck / Paint Interface

Won't Get Fooled Again

Today, my idiot colleague, (who resembles late-period Orson Welles, which is a TERRIBLE way for a woman to look) turn to me and asked:

"Do you know if The Who have declared swine flu as a pandemic?"

Confused, I replied that I believed that Pete 'n' Roger were probably too busy out promoting the back catalogue to get involved in epidemiology.

Silly cow was talking about the World Health Organisation.

This, dear reader, is what I have to put up with.

Politics Latest: Sordid Details

A spokesman told the Shoebox:

"It was the excessive expenses claims for laundry that drew our attention to the whole tawdry affair."

However, when pressed, he would not be drawn to disclose any specific details.

"Frankly" he remarked "I was disgusted at what we found. We're talking about a very DIRTY DIRTY person here. Politics may have it's problems, but nothing like this."

" This was the sort of thing that you'd expect in the back streets of Phuket, or in a Zoo, or possibly amongst certain showbiz types; but certainly not in the mother of parliament!"

"Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to take a good long shower!"

Help! My MP is a Pyscho!

I'm no handwriting expert, but I know that this missive, purported to be from my local MP, is clearly the product of an unhinged mind.

If I am murdered in my bed tonight, take this to Scotland Yard!