Live Update: Animal Disrupts Blogger

Reluctant as I am to turn this into an "Animals Say the Stupidest Things" type of blog, production of my project management report has been disrupted by a previously unforeseen risk, in the form of HER CAT lying on my notes. And that thing scratches when disturbed.

In fact, the above image file is actually called 33333333.jpg due to the moggie's paw resting upon the keyboard.

As I write, it has fallen asleep and is now snoring.

This is why I've been held back in life. Did Kafka have this kind of problem? Insects maybe?

Silly Season

Polish Nudist Prompts Icelandic Manhunt

It's not everyday the the Icelandic authorities have to send"120 trackers" out looking for a naturist hiker at altitude.

That would be some shrinkage.

Alternative Therapist is Mass Killer

Yes, is it any surprise?

Not sure about the Archbishop George Carey look either.

Mind you, there will be someone out there arguing that he should be spared as he'd cleared up their impetigo!

Let's Laugh At Foreign Names

Stand up "Christian Knees"!
Yes, "the genuflector" is a german cyclist currently puffing his way around the Tour de France.

Cotswolds: Middle England

Hired a fast car and set about our own enviro-terrorism for the weekend.
Yes, I'm guilty as charged, but I learned to drive in Dorset, and there is nothing as exhilarating as speeding around country lanes.
Anyway, nice to see the locals of tourist hell-hole Bourton on the Water are out and about with the (hopefully stolen) marker pens.

"I Was A Desert Rat, You Know!"

We all been wondering for some time: "just how good is "Find A Grave" dot com?

Well, they've got Derek Guyler!

BEES!!! BEES!!!

As though the Bees of North America have enough to worry about with Colony Collapse Disorder, the Canadians are crashing truckloads on their highways!

Bees on the loose!

Run! Now!

Joey Barton: Commodity.

Well I'm sure everyone's relieved that misunderstood media victim Joey Barton has been allowed to earn his living unhindered.

(Just read the BBC's "see also" reference to the right of this article.)

I know the Shoebox doesn't do football any more, but it missed the opportunity to comment when the Newcastle's fun-luvving Scally was imprisoned just as the last Premier League season drew to a close.

Basically, Barton beat the shit out of someone at Christmas but his case was conveniently held back until the season closed so that Newcastle wouldn't be inconvenienced by his imprisonment during the close season. Thanks to the courts compliance, Barton will be back in a Newcastle shirt in September.

Hence his plea of guilty to the earlier thuggery charge in order to allay any delay to his lucrative return to football.

An FA spokesman explained:

"You have to remember, these boys are like Gods walking amongst us; you only have to watch the adverts to see that. And they have fantastic girlfriends and everything.

Now, that's because there's lot's of money involved. They have lot's of money, and the club's have even more, and it's just common sense that this country's legislature shouldn't be allowed to spoil that.

And they don't, because we pay lawyers —who already have loads of money of their own— to make sure the courts understand that.

Anyway, I have to go now, some disabled ingrate is complaining about John Terry's parking again."