Revolution: Once Step Too Far

Now, nobody believes in the power of the collective as much as me, and the problems of the world are clearly solvable through anarcho-syndicalism.

However, I think there's a time and place for everything, and if there's a line that doesn't need crossing by the body politic it has to be where women's bits are concerned.

Keep it to yourself and behind the curtains missus!

No Man's Land

Spotlight on Camden Town

To be fair, the vehicle had Finland plates.

Take It Apart

I beseech you to read "A Codified Set of the Builder's, Crafters, Makers Rules" at Wondermark

For shed men everywhere.

Special Agent Rin Tin Tin

I read the following in a BBC account of the Bin Laden raid:

Several reports say an unidentified canine was strapped to a human member of the Seals team as he was lowered into the compound

I suspect the truth was somewhere near this:

T minus twenty seconds;

"At the ready men, and prepare to land; Holy Crap! Agent Dugard, explain yourself!"

"Sir, I'm sorry Sir! Sir, believe me I tried, but Mary Sue is in the jug for drink-driving again and her sister who normally does the dog-sitting is working double-shifts at the chicken-ranch. If I leave him at home he chews up the trailer! Sir!"

"We'll talk about this later, just keep that thing under control! OK men: Jump!"

Two minutes later.

"Minsky, we're still waiting for you! What's the problem now!"

"Sir, I'm sorry sir!" Sir; I think its the excitement sir! He's kinda sensitive!"

"Well make sure you pick that up on the way out!

"Sir, yes Sir!"

"Woof!"

"Cool your jets Jimbo, we're in enough trouble! Jeez, look! That's the guy from the posters!"

Gunshots are heard.

No One Wants to Discuss the Truth

Oh yeah, like anyone believes that Bin Laden is actually dead!

Of course he was buried at sea: in a casket with breathing apparatus!

There was a submarine below the whole canard, waiting to transport Agent Bin Laden back to CIA headquarters in Langley, where he'll be debriefed before being retired to secret quarters.

Apparently, he's acquired a taste for the ladies since having 17 wives, and is insisting on a similar arrangement in Oregan.

He'll be moving into a community with the other decommissioned agents like Bruce Lee, Elvis Presley and Benny Hill.

Actually, I'm not sure about that last one. I read that at the normally reliable angryabouteverything.com, but I'm beginning to question their judgement recently since they claimed that Obama didn't even HAVE a birth certificate because he was a cyborg created at the back of a surfing novelty shop in Honolulu during a particular low tide.

Anyway: he's alive!

Or, and I'm inclined towards this one: they have his head alive in a jar, just in case they need access to an evil genius to resist future alien onslaught.

Oh I don't know, it must be one of the two, but I'm undecided.

It's just that I've been having a few identity issues recently, and feeling more than my usual level of alienation since Mr Chutney the rent collector moved in with Mom. Apart from his carnal advances upon her, he's also been looking at porn images of fat chicks on my laptop, and then blaming me!

But will the Navy Seals do anything about him?

No, of course not! It's SO UNFAIR!

Dun Laden

Well, that's just typical.

Americans celebrating the death of Bin Laden, with no consideration for those of us chasing debts.

I haven't been paid for all that tunneling work and air conditioning we put in for him about a decade ago!

And I've still got a dodgy stomach from my time on the Tora Bora food plan.

I mean, there's a recession on and the building trade is in enough difficulty without this.

I've still got a bloody "super-gun" out the back that Saddam ordered of me. No chance of getting rid of that either!