Monday, April 06, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Monday, March 02, 2015
Sunday, March 01, 2015
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Monday, May 07, 2012
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Odour Latest
Just thought I'd pop out of retirement to mention that the kitchen on our floor at work smells like an unregulated cheese shop. And increasingly so.
Apparently "someone is looking into it".
Stay posted.
Apparently "someone is looking into it".
Stay posted.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Cease And Desist
It appears that those Klanophiles at Anfield have finally received a wake up call, underlining who cracks the whip in the football circus these days.
Manager Dalglish may have felt safe in supporting Suarez's crass refusal to shake Evra's hand at Old Trafford, but he seems to have thought again.
Dalglish, who has always held a deep resentment towards Alex Ferguson, which goes back long before the Man Utd's manager's collossal success, has always been inclined to act to the contrary of Sir Alex's wishes. Hence the stupidity which has lead the former Liverpool great into racist ignomy.
However, it appears that the Americans who OWN HIS ASS have decided that the brand has been damaged and have sent the lawyers in with the clause in his contract which states how bringing the club into disrepute will lead to cessation of contract without compensation prior to a painful lawsuit where the shareholders sue for consequential and inconsequential damages which will skin Kenny alive. Ditto Suarez.
Yes, it's the "apologise, or lose all your money".
Subsequently, both have agreed that they are no longer willing to stand on principle on moral grounds.
Ouch.
Manager Dalglish may have felt safe in supporting Suarez's crass refusal to shake Evra's hand at Old Trafford, but he seems to have thought again.
Dalglish, who has always held a deep resentment towards Alex Ferguson, which goes back long before the Man Utd's manager's collossal success, has always been inclined to act to the contrary of Sir Alex's wishes. Hence the stupidity which has lead the former Liverpool great into racist ignomy.
However, it appears that the Americans who OWN HIS ASS have decided that the brand has been damaged and have sent the lawyers in with the clause in his contract which states how bringing the club into disrepute will lead to cessation of contract without compensation prior to a painful lawsuit where the shareholders sue for consequential and inconsequential damages which will skin Kenny alive. Ditto Suarez.
Yes, it's the "apologise, or lose all your money".
Subsequently, both have agreed that they are no longer willing to stand on principle on moral grounds.
Ouch.
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Fag Mountain
No, I'm not referring to some Caliguan scene back at Studio 54.
Rather, I bring you an image from London's Kings Cross, and British Ingenuity at its best.
Namely, the climate-provided cigarette extinguisher/disposer.
Basically, when the thaw comes, the snow vanishes, taking the butts with it!
Simples.
Monday, February 06, 2012
Photo Finish
On entering the tube carriage tonight, I thought I heard someone commentating on the end of a particularly exciting horse race.
It was, however, just one half of an a pair of Arabic men having the loudest conversation in a confined space you could possibly imagine.
I have no idea what language it was carried out in, but just imagine an hyperventilating Peter O'Sullivan sparring with an Appalachian livestock auctioneer on Mexican Speedballs.
For fifteen minutes, without breathing in.
It didn't take long to lose its amusement.
It was, however, just one half of an a pair of Arabic men having the loudest conversation in a confined space you could possibly imagine.
I have no idea what language it was carried out in, but just imagine an hyperventilating Peter O'Sullivan sparring with an Appalachian livestock auctioneer on Mexican Speedballs.
For fifteen minutes, without breathing in.
It didn't take long to lose its amusement.
Friday, February 03, 2012
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Purple Haze En Francais!
Actually a flour attack on Francois Hollande .
Always the flour, never the flowerpot.
Vive la revolution!
Friday, January 27, 2012
The Old Alma Mater
Remember Windscale? It was a nuclear power station that had a bit of a meltdown and subsequently got a bad name.
The marketing people solved the problem by renaming it Sellafield and everyone thought it was a different, new, improved nuclear power station and the threat went away.
Apparently, renaming a failing institution is the best way to improve things and by far the cheapest, so it's win-win!
The proof of this is in our education system. In fact the Shoebox's old school Herbert Carter Secondary Modern, which was always a bit crap, was renamed Carter Community School (specialising in SPORT, so don't worry about Maths and English, everyone's going for gold!), and is now only the TENTH worse school in Britain! Hoorah!
Mind you, our old rivals Kemp Welch have been renamed TWICE! First as Rossmore Community College and now as St Aldhelm's, and THEY'VE just been the awarded the worst school in Britain award, so I don't know what happened there?
According to the local Echo:
Just three per cent of pupils leaving St Aldhelm’s Academy last summer scored the benchmark five A* - C GCSE grades, including English and maths.
That’s a drop of 11 places in a year for the former Rossmore Community College, taken over by sponsors the Diocese of Salisbury and Bournemouth University in September 2010 in a bid to raise standards.
Today the Borough of Poole has demanded urgent improvements at the school and action from the sponsors. It has also offered to help the school.
Carter Community School in Poole has also fared badly in league tables published today.
It is ranked as the 10th worst in the country with just 21 per cent reaching the benchmark standard.
Yes, one town has two schools in the worst ten!
Is it social deprivation? Well no, it's quite an affluent area without the unemployment desolation of the North East or the inner-urban blight of our major cities. It's not even racial, as most of these kids are white, and in fact it's the sort of area that white supremacists move to. (Most of the racism I heard as a kid came from the emigres from London and the Midlands).
No, it's actually all about the success of the local Grammar Schools. Poole never tolerated the move to Comprehensives, and stuck to the old two-tier education system, where the children of the middle-classes and the brightest of the lower orders were prioritised into the Grammar schools for a proper education, whilst the rest of us were basically abandoned.
The Grammar schools are very good at what they do, and are able to compete with private schools in their effectiveness.
However, the price of this success is the bargain basement approach that is the secondary modern system, (now rebranded as Community Colleges), where children are put on hold until they're old enough to work for fast food outlets, go onto the building sites or enter the prison system. And until it's recognised as a problem derived from SOCIAL attitudes towards working class children, the problem will persist unchallenged.
In short, it will remain a Conservative paradise!
The marketing people solved the problem by renaming it Sellafield and everyone thought it was a different, new, improved nuclear power station and the threat went away.
Apparently, renaming a failing institution is the best way to improve things and by far the cheapest, so it's win-win!
The proof of this is in our education system. In fact the Shoebox's old school Herbert Carter Secondary Modern, which was always a bit crap, was renamed Carter Community School (specialising in SPORT, so don't worry about Maths and English, everyone's going for gold!), and is now only the TENTH worse school in Britain! Hoorah!
Mind you, our old rivals Kemp Welch have been renamed TWICE! First as Rossmore Community College and now as St Aldhelm's, and THEY'VE just been the awarded the worst school in Britain award, so I don't know what happened there?
According to the local Echo:
Just three per cent of pupils leaving St Aldhelm’s Academy last summer scored the benchmark five A* - C GCSE grades, including English and maths.
That’s a drop of 11 places in a year for the former Rossmore Community College, taken over by sponsors the Diocese of Salisbury and Bournemouth University in September 2010 in a bid to raise standards.
Today the Borough of Poole has demanded urgent improvements at the school and action from the sponsors. It has also offered to help the school.
Carter Community School in Poole has also fared badly in league tables published today.
It is ranked as the 10th worst in the country with just 21 per cent reaching the benchmark standard.
Yes, one town has two schools in the worst ten!
Is it social deprivation? Well no, it's quite an affluent area without the unemployment desolation of the North East or the inner-urban blight of our major cities. It's not even racial, as most of these kids are white, and in fact it's the sort of area that white supremacists move to. (Most of the racism I heard as a kid came from the emigres from London and the Midlands).
No, it's actually all about the success of the local Grammar Schools. Poole never tolerated the move to Comprehensives, and stuck to the old two-tier education system, where the children of the middle-classes and the brightest of the lower orders were prioritised into the Grammar schools for a proper education, whilst the rest of us were basically abandoned.
The Grammar schools are very good at what they do, and are able to compete with private schools in their effectiveness.
However, the price of this success is the bargain basement approach that is the secondary modern system, (now rebranded as Community Colleges), where children are put on hold until they're old enough to work for fast food outlets, go onto the building sites or enter the prison system. And until it's recognised as a problem derived from SOCIAL attitudes towards working class children, the problem will persist unchallenged.
In short, it will remain a Conservative paradise!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Four Legs Good
It's all things otter today.According to the British Dog Breeders Association, celebrity endorsement of foreign breeds means our native dogs are under threat . And the most vulnerable is the Otterhound.
No, I hadn't heard of him either, and I'm sure that his ancestors were partly responsible for driving the nation's mostloved marine mammal to the brink of extinction, but just look at him: how could anyone NOT want an Otterhound?
I mean, look at his little face!
Meanwhile, at the HSBC they're using a pretend Chinese font to advertise their latest promotion. It reads:
Great Otters To Bring You Prosperity In The New Year!
Well, I THINK that's what it says.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Supermarket Sweepstake
The elderly Jamaican gentleman queuing in front of me tonight was buying: A loaf of bread; a bag of samosas and a pillow.
I wondered to myself what he actually left the house to buy. Which was the target purchase, and what followed on impulse?
I wondered to myself what he actually left the house to buy. Which was the target purchase, and what followed on impulse?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
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