Joey Barton: Commodity.

Well I'm sure everyone's relieved that misunderstood media victim Joey Barton has been allowed to earn his living unhindered.

(Just read the BBC's "see also" reference to the right of this article.)

I know the Shoebox doesn't do football any more, but it missed the opportunity to comment when the Newcastle's fun-luvving Scally was imprisoned just as the last Premier League season drew to a close.

Basically, Barton beat the shit out of someone at Christmas but his case was conveniently held back until the season closed so that Newcastle wouldn't be inconvenienced by his imprisonment during the close season. Thanks to the courts compliance, Barton will be back in a Newcastle shirt in September.

Hence his plea of guilty to the earlier thuggery charge in order to allay any delay to his lucrative return to football.

An FA spokesman explained:

"You have to remember, these boys are like Gods walking amongst us; you only have to watch the adverts to see that. And they have fantastic girlfriends and everything.

Now, that's because there's lot's of money involved. They have lot's of money, and the club's have even more, and it's just common sense that this country's legislature shouldn't be allowed to spoil that.

And they don't, because we pay lawyers —who already have loads of money of their own— to make sure the courts understand that.

Anyway, I have to go now, some disabled ingrate is complaining about John Terry's parking again."