Yes, the North is back in the news, and once more its for all the wrong reasons.
The burley chaps of Wigan's fire brigade were asked to extricate a Naked Man from Tescos last night.
Yes, NAKED, found in the chimney like some kind of Dirty Santa.
Of course, the naturists will disown him. They'll claim that he was one of us normal people who had merely "lost" his clothes in attempting to escape his plight, but we know the truth: he's a nudist who went bad.
Indeed, he's the one who chose the left-handed path. Not satisfied with the woods and a sun tan, he was no doubt in there with the sole intention of rubbing his grubby nakedness over the merchandise in some sick bid to seek revenge upon the textile world.
I certainly hope Tescos are going to burn the contents of that particular store, just in case.
Thing is, if he WAS a burglar, where was he planning to secrete the loot?
You better do a stock-check on the bananas Tesco!
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