Enduring my forced leave due to the "Festive Season", I get to lie in bed and listen to the Today programme at length.
I was amused by the feature on celebrity football thug Joel Barton, bemoaning his plight as a wanker. Give him credit though, he did get to say "actually, most footballers are knobs". Out of the mouths of babes.
Meanwhile, America's WAR ON TOURISM continues.
President Obamarama is angry at his "intelligence" agents for letting the underpants bomber onto a flight.
Now, I find it difficult to get too alarmed at a man who attempted to set fire to his Y-Fronts on a flight. Back in the seventies, Keith Moon used to do that sort of thing every week!
Come, ease up everybody, just give the man a gig at the Jim Rose Circus!
No, I'm more worried about the Terror Watch List that the president mentioned. I assume that this is a batch of explosive Timex's? Maybe at a given moment in time all of the Timex's have been synchronised to blow the left arm off of each wearer!
Obviously, given Timex's usual unreliability this would take place over some considerable time, but it's still likely to create quite a spectacle.
Fortunately, as a local government officer, I have never really had need for timekeeping.
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