Nice to see that the IRA have found work at what they're best at, as Iran continues its tradition of slaughtering the previous regime.
Apparently, Bush was in bed at 9pm, and missed it. 9pm?
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Saddam Meets the Provos
Nice to see that the IRA have found work at what they're best at, as Iran continues its tradition of slaughtering the previous regime.
Apparently, Bush was in bed at 9pm, and missed it. 9pm?
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Blair Reputation in Tatters: Official
Well, any credibility that Blair had as a consumate politician, a reformer and an election winner appears to have been shot through by now.
The abandonment of the BAE fraud enquiry (and the concomitant sale of large arms to Saudi Arabia) won't go away lightly, hoorah! Ethical Foreign Policy? Let's stop pretending about that one!
And then, the pipe-smoking, leather elbow patched chaps at Chatham House have been examining the effacacity of Blair's post 9/11 pro-Bush foreign policy, and declared it a DISASTER.
Yes, we all KNOW that already; but coming from the people that Blair usually relies on, that must at least bang the nails into the coffin of Blair's political reputation. Never mind, another six months, and then he can dedicate his time to all those lucrative lecture tours of America that he's clearly looking forward to.
Blair reputation in tatters: official
BAE fraud enquiry
The abandonment of the BAE fraud enquiry (and the concomitant sale of large arms to Saudi Arabia) won't go away lightly, hoorah! Ethical Foreign Policy? Let's stop pretending about that one!
And then, the pipe-smoking, leather elbow patched chaps at Chatham House have been examining the effacacity of Blair's post 9/11 pro-Bush foreign policy, and declared it a DISASTER.
Yes, we all KNOW that already; but coming from the people that Blair usually relies on, that must at least bang the nails into the coffin of Blair's political reputation. Never mind, another six months, and then he can dedicate his time to all those lucrative lecture tours of America that he's clearly looking forward to.
Blair reputation in tatters: official
BAE fraud enquiry
Monday, December 18, 2006
Last Week's News
OK, I'm behind.
I will find time to comment on the governments' moral failure to insist on the continuation of the BAE fraud inquiry, considering it to be acceptable to allow corruption, rather than to lose business to the Saudis. (Read more here)
Meantime, I'd like to apologise for not reacting quick enough to the BBC 'newsticker' headline that read:
Gastro Enteritis Forces Duchess of Cornwall to Cancel Pudding Factory Visit.
Now that is a headline!
I will find time to comment on the governments' moral failure to insist on the continuation of the BAE fraud inquiry, considering it to be acceptable to allow corruption, rather than to lose business to the Saudis. (Read more here)
Meantime, I'd like to apologise for not reacting quick enough to the BBC 'newsticker' headline that read:
Gastro Enteritis Forces Duchess of Cornwall to Cancel Pudding Factory Visit.
Now that is a headline!
Saturday, December 16, 2006
If You're Drinking This Christmas
Try avoid sleeping it off on the railway.
I think the best bit of this story is the drunk's father attempting to blame his son's predicament on the railway company.
I think the best bit of this story is the drunk's father attempting to blame his son's predicament on the railway company.
Friday, December 15, 2006
No Service Charge, Thankyou!
We've decided to start refusing to pay the "service charge" at restaurants, (which is basically a surcharge, with fees going to the owners) with the intention of leaving cash tips for the waiters.
Tonight, the cashier came back to our table THREE TIMES to ask why we weren't paying the full bill.
Be nice to waiters, don't pay the service charge!
Tonight, the cashier came back to our table THREE TIMES to ask why we weren't paying the full bill.
Be nice to waiters, don't pay the service charge!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Walk On The Wild Side
I don't know what's going on south of the river, but it appears that the Bishop of Southwark has elected to do a Kevin Spacey and retract his mugging claim in the light of events.
Spacey got into a spot of bother in Archbishop's Park in Lambeth, land belonging to the Archibishop of Cantebury (who was not involved, however). The Bishop of Southwork appears to have come a cropper following a night 'round at the Irish Embassy.
The BBC has this account of the Drunken Bishop's escapade in the back of a car.
Meanwhile, the Guardian reports that the Bishop appeared without his Mitre at his Sunday Service, claiming the head injury prevented his wearing the headgear.
So what did the Bishop do with, or — heaven forbid — IN his mitre that rendered it unwearable?
Where is The News of the World when you need it?
Spacey got into a spot of bother in Archbishop's Park in Lambeth, land belonging to the Archibishop of Cantebury (who was not involved, however). The Bishop of Southwork appears to have come a cropper following a night 'round at the Irish Embassy.
The BBC has this account of the Drunken Bishop's escapade in the back of a car.
Meanwhile, the Guardian reports that the Bishop appeared without his Mitre at his Sunday Service, claiming the head injury prevented his wearing the headgear.
So what did the Bishop do with, or — heaven forbid — IN his mitre that rendered it unwearable?
Where is The News of the World when you need it?
Beachcomber Returns
Ever since I first saw the internet, I knew it could facilitate a return to the brief, inspired eccentricity that flourished in British newspapers in the early 20th Century, as the titles would find a small space for a number of lone voices, the best of which was JB Morton, aka Beachcomber, who wrote for the Express for about two centuries until the 1950s.
Those that don't know of his work, his flights of fancy were the obvious inspiration for The Goons, The Beatles, The Bonzos, Monty Python, and everyone in between. He was very much the architect of the comic template for all those mad colonels, posh twits and social faux pas that became the staple of British comedy in the post war years, and in particular the concept of the "vexed of Tonbridge Wells" letters.
Imagine my joy therefore to discover this link from the Surrey Comet with thanks to Monk who unearthed it for our delight.
Read the correspondence, there's barely a duff note, and I suspect that it's the work of one hand, and that of a modern Morton.
Meanwhile on the topic of pigeon extermination, I draw you attention to my own previous pigeon post.
Those that don't know of his work, his flights of fancy were the obvious inspiration for The Goons, The Beatles, The Bonzos, Monty Python, and everyone in between. He was very much the architect of the comic template for all those mad colonels, posh twits and social faux pas that became the staple of British comedy in the post war years, and in particular the concept of the "vexed of Tonbridge Wells" letters.
Imagine my joy therefore to discover this link from the Surrey Comet with thanks to Monk who unearthed it for our delight.
Read the correspondence, there's barely a duff note, and I suspect that it's the work of one hand, and that of a modern Morton.
Meanwhile on the topic of pigeon extermination, I draw you attention to my own previous pigeon post.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Pinochet: One Down, One More To Go
As Margaret Thatcher shamelessly expresses great regret at the death of her old friend, the pyschopathic dictator Pinochet, the rest of the humane world can only hope that the old witch will take the hint and fuck off out of it as well.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Tiverton 1 McDonalds 0
Sadly, McDonalds, like cancer, will probably be always with us, yet in the west of England, the people of Tiverton have exercised consumer choice and opted for the edible alternative, local produce, enough to see off the American tyrant.
Read about it in the Guardian
Read about it in the Guardian
"Methane Mary" Grounds Jet
Yes, the war on terror took an unsavoury turn when a farting passenger gassed a flight out of the sky over America.
Apparently there was a blue flash, and everybody began screaming.
Look out for a new round of questioning at the check-in counter.
"What did you have for dinner last night?"
"Have you been for a No. 2 this morning?"
"Have you recently consumed large amounts of lager?"
"Was that you?"
Apparently there was a blue flash, and everybody began screaming.
Look out for a new round of questioning at the check-in counter.
"What did you have for dinner last night?"
"Have you been for a No. 2 this morning?"
"Have you recently consumed large amounts of lager?"
"Was that you?"
Monday, December 04, 2006
Stop This High Street Filth!
On passing Marks & Spencer tonight, I decided it was time to pop inside and stock up on socks and undies, and followed the signs to Menswear.
Suddenly, and without warning, I found myself in the Ladies Lingerie section, amongst the lurid scanty panties and uplift brassieres!
A quick glance around told me that my presence had gone undetected, so I elected to do what any sensible man would do in the circumstances and turned around immediately, volte face, with the intention of retracing my steps. However, having completed my tergiversation, I was SHOCKED to discover the men's underwear section directly behind me!
Yes, that's right; the men's underwear section was ADJACENT to the ladies' underwear section. Men's and Ladies "you know whats" SHARING THE SAME SPACE! Y-Fronts & Knickers were practically mingling with each other!
For the love of decency, are there no morals anymore? What were they thinking of? This is the permissive society incarnate! Is it any wonder that our society has descend into the cess-pit of debauchery and loose living that it is.
In Marks & Spencer of all people!
Its about time the Daily Mail did a double-page spread on this one.
As you can imagine, unwilling to patronise these pornographers, I made my excuses and left; I have my self-respect to think of you know.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Man Fights Moose With Slipper
According to Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten:
"A Norwegian who thought he'd be spending a quiet weekend at his cabin near Kongsvinger ended up battling an angry moose with the first weapon that came to mind - his slipper"
Read more here
Frankly, I suspect Shiba the dog may not be quite the innocent party portrayed.
Meanwhile, check out the "Related Stories". It seems that Norway has a moose epidemic that they're keeping quiet about.
"A Norwegian who thought he'd be spending a quiet weekend at his cabin near Kongsvinger ended up battling an angry moose with the first weapon that came to mind - his slipper"
Read more here
Frankly, I suspect Shiba the dog may not be quite the innocent party portrayed.
Meanwhile, check out the "Related Stories". It seems that Norway has a moose epidemic that they're keeping quiet about.
Joe Queenan: American Patriot
Having seen Borat this weekend I have to say I was impressed. I found some of it unnecessarily cruel, most of it painful to watch, but in all very funny.
Admittedly, taking Americans for a ride is like shooting fish in a barrel, but somebody has to do it. Think of it as getting even in a benign way, as it's surely better to address the inbalance of American power in the world by laughing at them, rather than resorting to mindless terrorism. (In Baron Cohen's case, it's certainly proven to be more lucrative).
This is not appreciated by American "film critic" Joe Queenan in the Guardian, who went all Uncle Sam on behalf of his compatriots, but quite incorrectly, as I will attempt to explain.
Firstly, British humour can be vindictive and cruel. It's part of our sang froid.
Queenan makes the mistake by suggesting Baron Cohen's humour is somehow inspired by a distaste for America, ignoring the fact that it was sharpened on British targets for the previous fifteen years. We've seen all these jokes before.
Yes, it's called taking the piss, and it's what we do, and it's something that's developed into something dark in recent years as Cohen and his contemporaries— Chris Morris, Dom Jolly, Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, and ultimately Cohen's replacement on the Eleven O'Clock Show, Ricky Gervais—have explored as they question the boundaries of humour, blur the lines into tragedy.
I'm sorry Joe, we're not all Michael Palin, who you probably despise as well.
Most troubling is Queenan's patriotic kneejerk reference to the war:
"Baron Cohen is just another English public school boy who hates Americans. It is fine to hate Americans; it is one of Europe's oldest traditions. But the men who flew the bombing raids over Berlin and the men who died at Omaha Beach and the women who built the Flying Fortresses and Sherman tanks that helped defeat Hitler are the very same people that Baron Cohen pisses all over in Borat. A lot of folks named Cohen would not even be here making anti-American movies if it were not for the hayseeds he despises."
American won the war? Tell that to the Red Army. (And by the way, those Americans saw their GDP double as a result of the war: everybody else had rationing: don't ask us to thank you Joe).
Furthermore:
a) Is it really anti-American to make fun of Americans? Isn't the Dubya's line?
b) "Hayseeds" ? No Joe: VOTERS
c) Anti-Americanism a public school thing? Try the working classes: they fucking hate you.
d) Omaha Beach? The British tend to remember Anzio, where the Americans changed their minds and stayed out at sea, stranding the British vanguard on the shore where they were slaughtered unnecessarily. America's status as an untrustworthy ally is as much a staple of Britain's war myth as the cliche of Italian tanks reverse gears. (So much so in fact, that this distrust remains amongst British troops in Iraq (see the end of this report)
Does Queenan really defend those misogynistic fraternity wankers that Cohen meets, those rich kids who will one day run America? Is it not true that your President STILL behaves like that?
I'm sorry, but "Queen Anne" is so far off the mark on this one, that his patriotic little tantrum pisses away any credibility that he had, with his paper-thin sensitivity undermining his pretence of the being the hard-boiled world-weary New Yorker he would so love to be. And I bet he thinks he's Irish!
Cohen IS lazy, and America is an easy target, but don't try to use this film as an opportunity to knock the British, as your prejudices are clearly founded upon your own misunderstanding of what British humour is about.
It's non-aspirational character-based vindictiveness. It's about vulnerability and unfulfilment, whether that's David Brent in the Office or some sad real person who thinks they can get ahead by hiring a "humor coach". Cruel? Yes. Funny? Of course. British comedy is about watching the pompous spiking their own balloon. But I don't have to explain Pomposity to Queenan!
Fly your flag up your ass Joe. We'd probably laugh.
Admittedly, taking Americans for a ride is like shooting fish in a barrel, but somebody has to do it. Think of it as getting even in a benign way, as it's surely better to address the inbalance of American power in the world by laughing at them, rather than resorting to mindless terrorism. (In Baron Cohen's case, it's certainly proven to be more lucrative).
This is not appreciated by American "film critic" Joe Queenan in the Guardian, who went all Uncle Sam on behalf of his compatriots, but quite incorrectly, as I will attempt to explain.
Firstly, British humour can be vindictive and cruel. It's part of our sang froid.
Queenan makes the mistake by suggesting Baron Cohen's humour is somehow inspired by a distaste for America, ignoring the fact that it was sharpened on British targets for the previous fifteen years. We've seen all these jokes before.
Yes, it's called taking the piss, and it's what we do, and it's something that's developed into something dark in recent years as Cohen and his contemporaries— Chris Morris, Dom Jolly, Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, and ultimately Cohen's replacement on the Eleven O'Clock Show, Ricky Gervais—have explored as they question the boundaries of humour, blur the lines into tragedy.
I'm sorry Joe, we're not all Michael Palin, who you probably despise as well.
Most troubling is Queenan's patriotic kneejerk reference to the war:
"Baron Cohen is just another English public school boy who hates Americans. It is fine to hate Americans; it is one of Europe's oldest traditions. But the men who flew the bombing raids over Berlin and the men who died at Omaha Beach and the women who built the Flying Fortresses and Sherman tanks that helped defeat Hitler are the very same people that Baron Cohen pisses all over in Borat. A lot of folks named Cohen would not even be here making anti-American movies if it were not for the hayseeds he despises."
American won the war? Tell that to the Red Army. (And by the way, those Americans saw their GDP double as a result of the war: everybody else had rationing: don't ask us to thank you Joe).
Furthermore:
a) Is it really anti-American to make fun of Americans? Isn't the Dubya's line?
b) "Hayseeds" ? No Joe: VOTERS
c) Anti-Americanism a public school thing? Try the working classes: they fucking hate you.
d) Omaha Beach? The British tend to remember Anzio, where the Americans changed their minds and stayed out at sea, stranding the British vanguard on the shore where they were slaughtered unnecessarily. America's status as an untrustworthy ally is as much a staple of Britain's war myth as the cliche of Italian tanks reverse gears. (So much so in fact, that this distrust remains amongst British troops in Iraq (see the end of this report)
Does Queenan really defend those misogynistic fraternity wankers that Cohen meets, those rich kids who will one day run America? Is it not true that your President STILL behaves like that?
I'm sorry, but "Queen Anne" is so far off the mark on this one, that his patriotic little tantrum pisses away any credibility that he had, with his paper-thin sensitivity undermining his pretence of the being the hard-boiled world-weary New Yorker he would so love to be. And I bet he thinks he's Irish!
Cohen IS lazy, and America is an easy target, but don't try to use this film as an opportunity to knock the British, as your prejudices are clearly founded upon your own misunderstanding of what British humour is about.
It's non-aspirational character-based vindictiveness. It's about vulnerability and unfulfilment, whether that's David Brent in the Office or some sad real person who thinks they can get ahead by hiring a "humor coach". Cruel? Yes. Funny? Of course. British comedy is about watching the pompous spiking their own balloon. But I don't have to explain Pomposity to Queenan!
Fly your flag up your ass Joe. We'd probably laugh.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
The Guardian Balks at "Nigger", But Repents!
For the past twenty years or so, The Guardian has steadfastly resisted the asteriskisation of the words Fuck and Cunt, and have always spelt them in full whenever citing the use of those words, being the only British newspaper to do so.
It is therefore surprising and disappointing that today's article in G2 by Joseph Harker covering the Michael Richards' outburst chose to bottle it, and therefore placed the asterisks where igger should be.
No doubt the editor believed that the otherwise steely readership would be taking a fit of the vapours should they see the word nigger spelt in full.
However: on the web-site Dan Glaister's article puts the igger back in.
Were there harsh words, one wonders?
It is therefore surprising and disappointing that today's article in G2 by Joseph Harker covering the Michael Richards' outburst chose to bottle it, and therefore placed the asterisks where igger should be.
No doubt the editor believed that the otherwise steely readership would be taking a fit of the vapours should they see the word nigger spelt in full.
However: on the web-site Dan Glaister's article puts the igger back in.
Were there harsh words, one wonders?
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
The Mohicans: the Monty Python Years
Well, her majesty's been out respecting the ancestors, helped by the remarkably named Bruce "Two Dogs" Bozsum.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Michael Richards Uses the N Bomb: Collateral Damage in Hollywood
Just when Mel Gibson's people thought they could plan ahead, "Seinfeld's Kramer" goes and opens the whole can of worms again, with Mel the jew-bater's name featuring in all the coverage to "add context".
And remember: Castle Rock still have to shift those Seinfeld on DVD units, just before Festivus and all.
I have a sneaky suspicion that the recipient of the "N" word lambasting may well be traumatised by the whole episode and therefore preparing to sue.
And remember: Castle Rock still have to shift those Seinfeld on DVD units, just before Festivus and all.
I have a sneaky suspicion that the recipient of the "N" word lambasting may well be traumatised by the whole episode and therefore preparing to sue.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Xmas Too Early? Try Bulgaria!
As the western Christmas season get under weigh, there's good news for those in despair of the "season creep" that is the yuletide consumer wave, as it threatens to overlap Halloween and heads for late summer: the Bulgarians have commenced their Advent Fasting Programme.
Read about it HERE
Some even forego a bit of slap n tickle in preparation for the Christ Mass.
I bet they don't have to call it "Happy Festival" either.
Read about it HERE
Some even forego a bit of slap n tickle in preparation for the Christ Mass.
I bet they don't have to call it "Happy Festival" either.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Greek Traditions Update: US Embassy Rioting
Apparently, 17th November is the date that Greek students march against the US Embassy in Athens.
Obviously, it degenerates into "unorthodox wrestling"
Obviously, it degenerates into "unorthodox wrestling"
Beatles Brand Gets Update
So we have a "new" Beatles album.
This is the Stars on 45 debacle all over again!
This is the Stars on 45 debacle all over again!
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