Overheard; Unfortunately

Overheard in the lavatory at work:

From an occupied cubicle:

Ruffle Ruffle, (sound of toilet paper deployment).

Ruffle Ruffle,

Pause.

"Oh bloody hell"

Introspective Pause.

"Oh FUCK!"

Pause.

Ruffle Ruffle

Ruffle Ruffle.

Flush.

Reader, I did not hang about to identify the troubled deficator, but I suspect that a visit to the proctologist is on the cards.

Old joke:

My friend is a proctologist. He wanted to be a brain surgeon, but he wasn't tall enough!.