Meet Your Local Sniffer Dog

Starbucks in St Pancras station has a neighbourhood board!

In the era of paranoia, I thought it was quite fitting that they're introducing us to the four-legged frontline in the war on terror.

Meet the gang:

Trampled Underfoot

In the wake of the student demonstrations against increased college fees, and the presence of (rather photogenic) schoolgirls in particular, the Metropolitan Police are concerned about the youngsters' well-being.

According to a strapline in a paper on the tube:

Met claim school kids' safety in danger from Demo

Err, actually, I think you'll find that they're more in danger from being baton-charged by police on horseback!

Cowboyds Anandians

Apparently, at some point in history, the organisation for which I work had dealings with the Association for Anandians.

No, I never heard of them either. Wikipedia informs me that they are the old boys of Ananda College , a buddhist school in Sri Lanka.

Et Alia, Wikipedia provides the following fact:

1891 November: C.C. Jayatissa, who was Anandian, was the first Sri Lankan to pass the Cambridge junior examination in the German language.


It also publishes the school song, which appears to have been written by Kurt Schwitters:


Anandai anandai anande ada anandai

Samma sambudu sugatha thatgatha sambudu pilimaya abiyasadee Kelesun Duruwee Athyugalesadee

Anandai anandai anande ada anandai

Silgath thani sudu nelum kusum lesa, pehedi, pibidi pirisindu wee Munidun namadimu ath yuga hisadee

Anandai Anandai Anande ada anandai


Now, if only I could have gone to a school like that.

Up North

Yes, after a gruelling weeks I get a weekend away in York.

It was like visiting an Alan Bennett theme park:

“We’re Europeans” I heard one lady exclaim “we’re just not designed for that kind of food!”.

The Prophylactic Pontiff

Now that the Bachelor of Rome has decided that it's OK for Catholic male prostitutes to use condoms, I was wondering if it's now OK for his Colombian constituents to continue using them to transport cocaine in the traditional fashion?

"Hey Baby, Can I Fill Your Tank?"

French parents had brought unnecessary embarassment to their daughters by going to to court to stop Renault calling their new runaround the Zoe.

They even went to the lengths to employ some sort of pervert to represent them.

Their lawyer:

argued that all of France's thousands of Zoes could be affected, with playground teasing and, as they grow older, comments in bars such as "Can I see your airbags?" or "Can I shine your bumper?"

Yeh, thanks a lot.

Renault won.

Borstal Boy Breakout!

I don't know what was happening on the other side of this door, and I don't WANT to know.

I can reassure my listeners that I moved on swiftly, and didn't look back!

Crime Latest

Looks like the Cat Burglar is moving up in the world. Persistently.

Eno & Dick Flash: Interview

The Dirty Old Man Cometh

My colleague has just returned from lunch, and as the lift was about to descend, found his progress stalled as an elderly man stopped the closing doors with his walking stick.

"I'm sorry," my colleague informed the octogenarian "but this lift is going down!".

"Don't worry son," quipped the aged lothario "I always go down first!"

What a guy!