Open House at Alexandra Palace reveals a theatre that has lain dark for 80years.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Pope is Cinema Villain Shock
Appalled as I am about the state visit of the Pope, and the way we seem to have allowed the papacy an opportunity to whitewash the outrages of the church, I take comfort in the fact that the Pope has an accent from the "evil-German" school of pronunciation.
As in: "Zere iss no use in scureeming, no von ken hear you!"
As in: "Zere iss no use in scureeming, no von ken hear you!"
PT Barnum's Premier League Circus!
State of the national game update:
I was disappointed, although sadly not suprised to see coverage of the Man Utd v. Liverpool game yesterday. On scoring against Utd, Britain's most over-rated footballer ran to the corner gesturing to someone to come to him, and one would imagine that it would be a colleague for whom the goal meant something special.
No, it was the cameraman that he beckoned.
In what was so clearly a staged manouevre with the broadcasters, Gerrard prostituted himself with such vulgarity that there is no longer any doubt that Premier League football is merely Murdoch's bitch.
They're setting up their own iconic moments for fuck's sake.
Showbiz!
I was disappointed, although sadly not suprised to see coverage of the Man Utd v. Liverpool game yesterday. On scoring against Utd, Britain's most over-rated footballer ran to the corner gesturing to someone to come to him, and one would imagine that it would be a colleague for whom the goal meant something special.
No, it was the cameraman that he beckoned.
In what was so clearly a staged manouevre with the broadcasters, Gerrard prostituted himself with such vulgarity that there is no longer any doubt that Premier League football is merely Murdoch's bitch.
They're setting up their own iconic moments for fuck's sake.
Showbiz!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Sign of the Times
When I saw the BBC headline, Prince qualifies as rescue pilot. I have to admit that it didn't quite tally.
I mean, how would the Minnesota midget minstrel reach the pedals? Would there be room on board for the rescuee amongst the entourage?
Silly me; it's actually about a real prince in Wales, south of Liverpool!
I mean, how would the Minnesota midget minstrel reach the pedals? Would there be room on board for the rescuee amongst the entourage?
Silly me; it's actually about a real prince in Wales, south of Liverpool!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
At Last: The Nobby Styles Collection
Toothless sixties football icon Nobby Styles is selling it all off , although the dentures are conspicuous by their absence!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Jungle Boogie
As a young man in Poole in 1977, one only had to walk down the high street in straight jeans and a short haircut to draw enough attention to yourself to get a beating.
Fashion was such that decisions to stand out, re; clothing norms, dyed hair etc, had to be considered beforehand in consideration for the social opprobrium that it may elicit. (And I remember my friends mother taking a fit of the vapours on returning from the supermarket where she had seen a man shopping IN SHORTS!)
Youngsters these days, (now THERE'S a phrase!) genuinely have no idea what that meant. I imagine that there are still locals around the provinces that go out of their way to take exception to an individual's attire, but I suspect that's arbitrary, and not in the same vein as the witch-hunt knee-jerk of days gone by.
I mention this, as living in a time where the lines have well and truly become blurred on the apparel front, where it is insufficient to don a studded leather jacket and boast a blue mohican to expect it to be read as a statement.
Imagine my surprise therefore to be confronted by the sight of a young black guy moving through Kings Cross this morning in an enormous Afro. Now that was a stand out statement, and certainly not a everyday occurence. Well done that man! Hurrah!
Cue wah wah pedal and Soul Train dancing!
Fashion was such that decisions to stand out, re; clothing norms, dyed hair etc, had to be considered beforehand in consideration for the social opprobrium that it may elicit. (And I remember my friends mother taking a fit of the vapours on returning from the supermarket where she had seen a man shopping IN SHORTS!)
Youngsters these days, (now THERE'S a phrase!) genuinely have no idea what that meant. I imagine that there are still locals around the provinces that go out of their way to take exception to an individual's attire, but I suspect that's arbitrary, and not in the same vein as the witch-hunt knee-jerk of days gone by.
I mention this, as living in a time where the lines have well and truly become blurred on the apparel front, where it is insufficient to don a studded leather jacket and boast a blue mohican to expect it to be read as a statement.
Imagine my surprise therefore to be confronted by the sight of a young black guy moving through Kings Cross this morning in an enormous Afro. Now that was a stand out statement, and certainly not a everyday occurence. Well done that man! Hurrah!
Cue wah wah pedal and Soul Train dancing!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Another Experimental Disappointment
Alas, my perceived success at achieving a cloak of invisibility has been proved a disasterous failure.
Apparently, people have just been ignoring me.
Sadly, I didn't find out until a complete stranger walked in and said "why are you wearing that stupid cape, you wanker!"
And to think that it was remarks like that that drove me to my experiments in the first place.
I am now working on a "colleague-atomising death-ray".
Apparently, people have just been ignoring me.
Sadly, I didn't find out until a complete stranger walked in and said "why are you wearing that stupid cape, you wanker!"
And to think that it was remarks like that that drove me to my experiments in the first place.
I am now working on a "colleague-atomising death-ray".
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Social Services: Latest
Honestly, you would not BELIEVE the paperwork involved! A bureaucratic NIGHTMARE! Really!
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
London Transport Strike: Latest
Is Bob Crow man enough to face the animal lobby?
Come on Morrissey; do your thing!
Never In The Field Of Human Conflict
As the unions on the underground celebrate the anniversary of the blitz with their own form of strike on the populace, I successfully struggled in, only to be confronted by another retro action at the coffee kiosk, where I was SHORT-CHANGED!
It's like the 1970s out there!
Not that the little shit got away with it! (And it wasn't a mistake; he looked like he should be wearing a tee-shirt with "Dodgy Git" written on it.) I demanded my money and got it.
Then on arrival at work, I discovered that he'd failed to put sugar in it. He asked "do you want sugar?" I said "yes". It is not difficult.
Mind you, it did give me the retro satisfaction of stirring my coffee with a pencil, old stylee, which was comforting. I felt like a 1940s government scientist.
It's like the 1970s out there!
Not that the little shit got away with it! (And it wasn't a mistake; he looked like he should be wearing a tee-shirt with "Dodgy Git" written on it.) I demanded my money and got it.
Then on arrival at work, I discovered that he'd failed to put sugar in it. He asked "do you want sugar?" I said "yes". It is not difficult.
Mind you, it did give me the retro satisfaction of stirring my coffee with a pencil, old stylee, which was comforting. I felt like a 1940s government scientist.
Monday, September 06, 2010
Please Lead Me To Your Car
We were discussing driving tests, and a colleague was telling me of her first.
"It was a really windy day, and as we went to get into the car, the guy's toupée flew off! I was laughing so much I couldn't control myself, so the guy just refused to carry on. I didn't even get my money back!"
Ah, authority figures, they were the days!
"It was a really windy day, and as we went to get into the car, the guy's toupée flew off! I was laughing so much I couldn't control myself, so the guy just refused to carry on. I didn't even get my money back!"
Ah, authority figures, they were the days!
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
Living In The Future: Again!
OK, so the Royal Mail just released its new interactive stamps which can be read by your iPhone using the Junaio application to launch a video, or web data pertinent to the theme:
According to the BBC*:
Those viewing the stamp, part of the Royal Mail's latest Great British Railways edition, via the Junaio app will be directed to a short film showing Bernard Cribbins reading Auden's famous poem The Night Mail.
OK, maybe Bernard Cribbins is a bit of an anticlimax considering the paradigm shifting nature of the venture, but this has to be A GOOD THING, at least for the short period before advertising and Rupert Murdoch get hold of it and ruin everything.
According to the BBC*:
OK, maybe Bernard Cribbins is a bit of an anticlimax considering the paradigm shifting nature of the venture, but this has to be A GOOD THING, at least for the short period before advertising and Rupert Murdoch get hold of it and ruin everything.
At Last, Some Good News!
Although I am naturally delighted to see the BBC headline Guns & Roses Bottled Off-Stage , one must consider that it is has come 25 years too late!
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Victor Sparkles' Pop Quest
Shaken, Not Stirred!
Did you know that Welsh King of Rock 'n' Roll, Shakin' Stevens (real name: Herbert Burbidge) was actually performing under the name of "Shake-It Stevens" prior to his atmospheric rise to fame in 2001?
Shaky's name was changed at the insistence of his management once the singer had turned professional and headed towards international stardom.
However, details are vague regarding the origins of the original moniker.
"There are, of course, lurid and scandalous rumours," responded his agent, Murray Munt, "none of which have any foundation in the truth."
Shakey's former guitarist Owen Owen-Owens was also willing to defend Shakey's reputation. "Yes, back in the working men's clubs, I heard it said that he'd take the old fella out and shake it about to capture the miner's attention. I have to say that I never saw him do such a thing; although I did once see him use it to stir his coffee with, but I suppose "Stirring Stevens" doesn't have the same ring!"
We asked to speak to the social secretary of the Grim Valley Miner's Club about Shakey's appearances, but he remained tight-lipped, and refused to take part, although he did comment:
"Look boy, it was a long time ago, things were different back then, and the miners were a close group with their own customs. Shakey understood that. Now if you don't mind, I have to rod this lavatory!"
Fans will be delighted to hear that Shakin' Stevens will be appearing in pantomime at Bognor this winter where he will play Baron Hardup opposite Sinitta as Cinders and Souxsie Sioux as the evil queen.
Did you know that Welsh King of Rock 'n' Roll, Shakin' Stevens (real name: Herbert Burbidge) was actually performing under the name of "Shake-It Stevens" prior to his atmospheric rise to fame in 2001?
Shaky's name was changed at the insistence of his management once the singer had turned professional and headed towards international stardom.
However, details are vague regarding the origins of the original moniker.
"There are, of course, lurid and scandalous rumours," responded his agent, Murray Munt, "none of which have any foundation in the truth."
Shakey's former guitarist Owen Owen-Owens was also willing to defend Shakey's reputation. "Yes, back in the working men's clubs, I heard it said that he'd take the old fella out and shake it about to capture the miner's attention. I have to say that I never saw him do such a thing; although I did once see him use it to stir his coffee with, but I suppose "Stirring Stevens" doesn't have the same ring!"
We asked to speak to the social secretary of the Grim Valley Miner's Club about Shakey's appearances, but he remained tight-lipped, and refused to take part, although he did comment:
"Look boy, it was a long time ago, things were different back then, and the miners were a close group with their own customs. Shakey understood that. Now if you don't mind, I have to rod this lavatory!"
Fans will be delighted to hear that Shakin' Stevens will be appearing in pantomime at Bognor this winter where he will play Baron Hardup opposite Sinitta as Cinders and Souxsie Sioux as the evil queen.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Jackass: The Final Frontier
Adventurous? Money to burn? Possible mental health issues leading to rash decision making?
Why not let the Danes tie you to a chair at the top of a rocket and get blasted into space?
Yes, those crazy vikings are using the latest intercontinental ballistic missile technology, where there used to be a deadly warhead, they'll being putting YOUR HEAD!
Yes, your head will stick out of the end of the missile so that after you briefly witness to wonder of the universe, before you get to watch the Baltic Sea approach at terminal velocity!
Doesn't the EU have some sort of Social Services department to look into these things?
Old Compton Street: A Statement
I would just like to confirm that yesterday on my way to a evening out I found my self momentarily crossing Old Compton Street in London's Soho.
At no point did I stop in Old Compton Street, or converse with anyone, and no "visits" were made to any of the establishment thereof.
I merely entered Old Compton Street from the south, traversed east for fifty yards, before exiting to the north one minute later.
I merely confirm this to put paid to any gossip that I was seen in Old Compton Street last night. I was, but not for long enough for anything untoward to occur.
Soho Update: the poseurs of Soho were out in force last night, as the dry weather and low, eye-piercing sun, created the perfect conditions for standing out on the pavement with one's SUNGLASSES ON! Most of them weren't even smoking!
At no point did I stop in Old Compton Street, or converse with anyone, and no "visits" were made to any of the establishment thereof.
I merely entered Old Compton Street from the south, traversed east for fifty yards, before exiting to the north one minute later.
I merely confirm this to put paid to any gossip that I was seen in Old Compton Street last night. I was, but not for long enough for anything untoward to occur.
Soho Update: the poseurs of Soho were out in force last night, as the dry weather and low, eye-piercing sun, created the perfect conditions for standing out on the pavement with one's SUNGLASSES ON! Most of them weren't even smoking!
BBC: Northerners Are All Drunks
Well, I suppose it must be official: a survey provides comprehensive proof that our friends in the north are plastered !
Now, I'm not a scientist, but I have witnessed this sort of thing first hand, and I have met, or even KNOWN many people from the North West (proven to be the epicentre of intoxication), and I can only agree that my findings also indicate that they are largely just a bunch of harmless inebriates.
Explains a lot come to think about it.
(Note: I can confirm that I originate from one of the most abstinant areas, so there!)
Now, I'm not a scientist, but I have witnessed this sort of thing first hand, and I have met, or even KNOWN many people from the North West (proven to be the epicentre of intoxication), and I can only agree that my findings also indicate that they are largely just a bunch of harmless inebriates.
Explains a lot come to think about it.
(Note: I can confirm that I originate from one of the most abstinant areas, so there!)
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