Yes, it's been a big day for William "Olympic Stadium" Pontins, who successfully flew 300 metres through the acrid skies above East London having been fired from a trebuchet across the site of what will be the greatest Games EVER!
Pontins, a sanitation engineer and person of restrictive growth, first acquired a taste for flight as a young man, when he took part in the university Dwarf-throwing team.
"I was the dwarf." Bill told the Shoebox, "Sadly, my dreams of representing Team Britain as part of the Dwarf Throwing event at the Olympics was ended when the sport became outlawed. I only wish that the Sports Council could realise who the real victims are: the British public denied the spectacle of a dwarf expertly thrown across a pub car park!"
Sadly, it looked like his only chance to take part in the 2012 games would be in overseeing the sewerage for the arena, the athlete's village, and a generous number of officially sanctioned retail outlets.
However, the pint-sized projectile doesn't give up so easily.
"I believe that once the Olympic Committee get to witness the excitement of watching a small man in a union jack helmet get catapulted across a playing field using medieval siege-warfare technology, then they'll just have to include the Trebuchet as an official sport, and that's what we've done here today!."
"After all, " he added "they allow Human Canonballs, so this just an earlier version of that; sort of like greek wrestling compared to the WWF!"
On being told that there was no Human Canonball event as an Olympic sport, Bill appeared confused, asked us if we were sure, and then proceded to call someone on his mobile before refusing to discuss his triumph further.
Sadly, his wife, the 6'1" cruise liner chanteuse Rusty Latour was unable to attend as she is on stand-by for a yet-to-be-announced reality TV show.
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