It's taken a week, but Britain's new government has finally sat down and started work with its first cabinet meeting.
However, things got off to an unsteady start this morning, as the gathering proved to be disruptive with the two sides attempting to settle in together.
"It was the boys from the other schools that started it" said Cameron's head boy, Osborne. "They were throwing bread rolls at David's top hat, trying to knock it off, which is just bad form, and certainly not Eton rules!"
Osborne attempted to maintain order but was frustrated.
"I even asked Matron to do something about it, but she just looked at me and said "I'm the Home Secretary you twat!"which was a little uncalled for, and I'll certainly get my parents to write to the Head about her."
"The problem is" Osborne continued "people don't appreciate that Eton chaps are born to lead. It's nothing to do with the fact that our parents are very rich and well connected, it's because we're just superior. I mean, look at how well Boris is getting on in London, and he's just a blithering idiot!"
As Osborne turned to re-enter to the room, which was a riot of paper aeroplanes, it became apparent that someone had attached a "Kick Me" sign to his back.
Political experts are at a loss to explain where this will all lead.
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