Oh yeah, like anyone believes that Bin Laden is actually dead!
Of course he was buried at sea: in a casket with breathing apparatus!
There was a submarine below the whole canard, waiting to transport Agent Bin Laden back to CIA headquarters in Langley, where he'll be debriefed before being retired to secret quarters.
Apparently, he's acquired a taste for the ladies since having 17 wives, and is insisting on a similar arrangement in Oregan.
He'll be moving into a community with the other decommissioned agents like Bruce Lee, Elvis Presley and Benny Hill.
Actually, I'm not sure about that last one. I read that at the normally reliable angryabouteverything.com, but I'm beginning to question their judgement recently since they claimed that Obama didn't even HAVE a birth certificate because he was a cyborg created at the back of a surfing novelty shop in Honolulu during a particular low tide.
Anyway: he's alive!
Or, and I'm inclined towards this one: they have his head alive in a jar, just in case they need access to an evil genius to resist future alien onslaught.
Oh I don't know, it must be one of the two, but I'm undecided.
It's just that I've been having a few identity issues recently, and feeling more than my usual level of alienation since Mr Chutney the rent collector moved in with Mom. Apart from his carnal advances upon her, he's also been looking at porn images of fat chicks on my laptop, and then blaming me!
But will the Navy Seals do anything about him?
No, of course not! It's SO UNFAIR!
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