Neutering Tutti Frutti

Although my neighborhood boasts two of the best restaurants in the capital, (La Kera)(which means in Britain, or let's face THE WORLD), the fact that they are yards apart heightens the cruelty that the nearest bar The Duke of Edinburgh is a shit-hole.

It's the only nearby pub, and those who would like a pre-prandial pint have traditionally been put off by the sight of this fore-mentioned SHIT-HOLE on their way to these excellent restaurants.

Well, imagine my glee to discover that the Duke of Edinburgh has had a make-over!

I assumed that this was in keeping with its proximity to the trendy eateries and that they had identified the up-market diners as their new clientele.

Well, that was until tonight, when I went on an early evening recky to the said drinking establishment in order to establish its new found credentials.

It's only seven minutes walk from our house, so it's a potential local.

However; on entering at 7:50pm on a Saturday night I was a little disturbed that I was the only customer, apart from the woman on the stool at the bar, who may well have been the barmaid awaiting customers to serve.

I was served by the bloke at the bar who had the air of a landlord who had been there forever, who had just spent a fortune on refurbishing his establishment in a desperate bid to attract a new class of client, without understanding exactly who that new client was exactly.

I ordered a pint of cider, and—wary of the big screen showing "Queen at Wembley" —sat down and opened my book.

I hate Queen. Queen represent everything that is wrong with rock music. If the Church of England is the Tory Party at prayer, Queen are the Conservative Candidates in Lycra.

And do you know, I could not sit in this empty pub drinking cider and listening to Queen (at one point neutering Tutti Frutti). I drank up, and just as another chap entered, belching with the confidence of one of the old locals, I left, knowing that I would never return.

The Duke of Edinburgh is doomed, because there are still people in the world that think Freddy Mercury was any good, and don't have the sense to ask the passers by on their way to the restaurants what THEY would want in a nearby pub.

And to think there are still three members of Queen still alive: shocking.