OK, it's a new job, and it'll take a little getting used to, but this open-plan thing is REALLY distracting, particularly as I get to listen to the facilities people dealing with whatever they get thrown at them.
I'll try keep this above the waist, but did you know that people use public buildings as lavatories over the weekend? I don't mean the public lavatories, provided for that purpose, I mean the outside of the buildings themselves, and the doorways and niches in particular. Every Monday morning I overhear the "Code Brown" reports coming in, as the dispatcher notifies the cleaners as to where, and specifically what they need to attend to. It's a dirty business.
Anyway, we had a little bit of variety today, as a cleaner informed the team that "someone had been having sex in the seventh floor lavatories". The dispatcher went off to investigate the evidence, and we put it to the back of our minds, as the veterans amongst us can remember when the local prostitutes were using the first floor ladies room to provide an express service some time back. However, today's news was exciting because the seventh floor is NOT A PUBLIC ACCESS AREA! The perpetrator/s had to be EMPLOYEES!
Well, imagine our delight to discover that the "incident" involved a penis enlarger, the box of which was discarded in the soiled cubicle!
Look, I appreciate that the organisation encourages personal growth, but that's taking things a little too far!
My money's on the new guy with the monobrow and the squint.
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