Yes there was pandemonium at the RNIB yesterday, as the financial news broke, leaving the visually impaired disconcerted and vulnerable. Although unable to see very well, they are surprisingly adept at investing on the Stock Market, and were startled at the events.

RNIB spokesperson, Belinda Pugh, explained the chaos:

"It took us a little while to cotton on, as it takes a little longer to read the trading pages in braille, obviously, but once we realised that the lot had gone down the toilet, things went a little hectic. In fact, I haven't witnessed such confusion since the time that some moron hired Marcel Marceau to entertain us at the Christmas Party!"

When asked about rumours regarding the Bursor's attempted suicide, Ms Pugh played it down:

"Well, I saw nothing, naturally, but I have heard that he stepped out onto the ledge on the eigth floor, possibly by accident, but fortunately, Minty, his guide dog, stepped in front of him and prevented his endangering himself. It's sounds heroic, but its the kind of thing she's trained to do actually. In fact she's the sort of dog that is always getting in the way around here, it's a bit of a nuisance really; that's how I broke my wrist last year! I make do with this white stick, and don't know why the rest of 'em can't."

However, when pressed on how much the sightless had lost in the previous week, Ms Pugh was unforthcoming:

"And no-one admits it, but Minty has a bit of a flatulence problem, which is unpleasant in an open plan environment, although I believe that some people in here rely on it as a navigation aid when delivering their expense returns!"

Unfortunately, the Shoebox was unable to find anyone else available for comment on this story.